It’s amazing how much one’s life can change in a year. Here’s an update on how everything is going on my end.Continue Reading...
Archives For personal
Well my friends, after 11 months of Caribbean adventure, I have decided to return to the United States.
As I hope you could tell from my blog, I had my share of amazing and challenging experiences that I would trade for nothing. Many of those experiences, musings, and observations are still in my head and my heart. As I write now, I am back home in my hometown of Dallas, processing my experiences and preparing for my next moves. I have unpublished stories from the island that I’m excited to share in time. So while my physical self is back enjoying the Texas weather, my mind is still very much on Dushi Korsou.
I believe in there’s being a time, a season for all things. As I have written before, beneath the exterior of beautiful beaches, colorful buildings, and amazing weather, Curacao is a small island with increasingly big problems, politically, economically, and culturally. While I appreciated the laid back lifestyle, to be honest I never quite felt…
at ease accepted quite at home. Maybe it was cultural differences, maybe it was moving from the hustle and bustle of New York to a small island community or just….maybe it was just my time.
Sometimes things don’t always work the way we want, but things always seem to work for the best. At the risk of sounding cliche, I met a lot of amazing people along the way, and there are a special few that are in my heart and I will miss teribbly. When I stepped on my outbound flight last week from Curacao’s Hato airport, I knew I was returning a completely different person than the person who left everything behind in September of last year to chase her dreams.
Thank you to everyone who followed my adventures here, I really appreciated your comments, support and emails. I hope you continue to follow on my next adventures!
This week marked my second month in Curacao…two months since I decided to pack my Manhattan life into two oversized bags and come down to a small island in the Caribbean with 150,000 people. I have a lot to be grateful for for the past year. I finished graduate school in May. I had an amazing opportunity this summer to work in New York city working in journalism. I met some of the most amazing individuals I’ve ever encountered in the last year, not the least of which includes the man I am very much in love with.
But rather than engage in the typical “Top Ten Things To Be Thankful For” laundry-list, itemized style of reminiscing over the things and the people that have made me happy in the last year, I wonder if there is another, deeper way to look at this time of the year. Especially as I spend Thanksgiving away from my family for only the second time ever in my life.
How do you define being “thankful”? Like what is thankfulness? Who can tell me what a “thank” anyway? If we don’t know what it is, how can we be full of it? Or how can we give it away every fourth Thursday of November?
I find myself right now looking up the definition of gratitude, or the “readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Thankfulness means “expressing gratitude and relief”. Other words synonymous to gratitude (according to my Mac’s Oxford Dictionary) include “recognition”, “acknowledgement”, and “credit.”
My mind keeps focusing on the word “acknowledgement”. To me acknowledgement is slightly above “being aware” of something, but rather is a public expression an awareness of a kind action, of support, or of a good deed.
I think we can do better than mere acknowledgment. We can go beyond the blanket Facebook and Twitter declarations of thanks for friends and family.
There are the big things like, the man who offers you his umbrella when you’re stranded in the rain. Your classmate that offers to help you study for the next exam when you were sick for lectures that week. Maybe we are more thankful when strangers who have no ties to us offer to help us.
But what about the people close to us? The parents who dutifully call you a few times a week “just to check up on you”? The girlfriend who still loves you despite your oddities and quirks? The close pals you can count on to be with you through thick and thin, relationships and break ups, and who are always down for happy hours and karaoke? Do we recognize kindnesses that we see on a day to day basis?
Take the time this Thanksgiving to tell your friends and family, individually if you can, not just that you are thankful for them, but why you are thankful for them. What is it about who they are and what they do that has impacted your life so much? Write to a friend and tell her how much her support and good humor over the last few months while you were going through rough times helped you. Write to your mentor and tell them how much you appreciate their time, and their wisdom, and their willingness to invest in your future success. Tell your employees how much you value their hard work. And of course, most of us can never thank our parents enough for giving us life, but today, you can try.
Lastly, we should all strive to be someone that others would be thankful to have in their lives. As we give thanks for what others have been to us, or done for us, we should continuously aim to do for others, and to be for others, the best we can. Beyond being thankful for what we have achieved, or the material things we have acquired in the past calendar year, let us remember that the people who seem to have the most in their lives are the ones who are the most freely giving of themselves, their time, their energy and their love to others.
I have an 8-year old who lives near us and who has been a big part of my time here in Curacao. I’ll call her “Alice”. Alice is one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. She has skin the color of honeyed hazelnut, and light olive green eyes. Alice’s mother is an illegal immigrant from Jamaica who worked as a hotel maid until she lost her job a few weeks ago. Since then, Alice’s mom pretty much stays inside and plays on Facebook or goes out with her boyfriend, aslo a Jamaican. Alice is an only child and doesn’t have anyone to play with when she comes home from school. “My mom doesn’t have time for me,” Alice tells me. “She would rather be on the computer than play with me.” Because of Alice’s mom’s illegal status, and the fact that Alice is unregistered here in Curacao, her mother does not like for her to walk to her friends’ houses nearby for fear that she may be discovered and deported.
So my boyfriend and I often hang out with Alice. We’ve taken her to Adventure City, a place for kids with arcade games, bumper cars, and prizes that kids can win. We help her with her math and Dutch homework sometimes, we watch bootleg movies together, and when her family doesn’t have enough money for food, I make sure to cook extra to give Alice a plate. In return, she draws us pictures that we proudly display on our fridge, helps me with my Papiamentu, and brings me beautlful sea glass that she collects on the beach.
One thing that Alice seems obsessed with is making beds. If my boyfriend or I am home, the first thing she does is knock on our door to ask to ask us if she can “spread the bed”.
Yeah, sure, knock yourself out, kid.
After several bed-spreading requests, I asked Alice last week why she was so obsessed with making the bed.
“Well, if I want to work in a hotel, then I have to learn to spread the bed really, really good. So I want to start practicing now so that later, I can be really, really good at it and make beds nice,” Alice replied enthusiastically.
I was floored.
Her reply really hit me hard. Here was an 8 year old girl getting a head start on her hotel maid career. It is true that in Curacao, many cleaning ladies are Jamaican. I realize that that is probably all Alice has seen to aspire to be as a Jamaican on this island. I struggled with wanting more for her, to tell her, Youre EIGHT YEARS OLD. You should be wanting to be an actress, a singer, a scientist, a dancer, a model, or gosh, even a princess!
Is being able to dream about those things a privilege? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m not Alice’s mother, and as much as my well-meaning and softhearted boyfriend thinks we should adopt her and take her out of her situation, we cannot. Instead of being sad about it, I tell him we should be thankful and grateful for the chance that we have gotten to know Alice, who, despite her circumstances, is a cheerful, sweet, sensitive, and intelligent child.
And that’s beautiful.
Bon dia, from Willemstad, Curaçao! After flight delays and missed connections, my overweight luggage and I arrived safe and sort of sound last Thursday night at Hato International Airport.
I’ve taken the last few days to relax and flush out the stress of the last few
months years days of New York. I was treated by my boyfriend to flowers, gifts, and a surprise midnight sail with his friends around the Spanish Water near Caracasbaai as my “Welcome Home” weekend. I’m a lucky, lucky girl. 🙂
It’s going to take some time for the fact that I just moved to a new country to sink in. I thought that updating my Facebook “Current City” would speed up the process, but that didn’t quite work. I mean, if you
officially register with the national immigration as a citizen of a new country update your new city on Facebook, it makes it official, right?
I’m looking forward to exploring the island, and getting familiarized with the politics of the upcoming elections. I’m beginning the hunt for some gigs on the island in order to line my pockets with some Antillean guilders.
A couple things that I have gleaned from conversations over the past few days about Curaçao:
- Curaçao is apparently entering its first elections since becoming “autonomous” from The Netherlands with €200 Million over its national budget. The speculation is that the politicians of this small, but relatively wealthy island of less than 200,000 people( I heard Curaçao actually supplies oil to neighboring countries of Aruba and Bonaire, yet gas prices are quite high here) have been stealing the country’s resources.
- Despite being politically autonomous, Curaçao is not economically independent, as its national budget is subject to approval by the Netherlands.
- There are populations of Haitian, Jamaican, and Dominican immigrants who move to Curaçao for low wage work. But from what I hear, life is not so easy for them, especially the ones that move here illegally.
- Some of my Dutch friends feel that there has been a sharp rise in anti-Dutch, and anti-foreigner sentiment as the elections draw nearer in October. Of course, I’m sure that that is only half the story when it comes to the social and cultural relations on the island.
I’m looking forward to meeting and interviewing more people of different backgrounds on the island. Stay tuned!
The time has come for for me to set sail again.
After two years in New York City, and three years stateside since my last stint abroad in Ghana, I will be setting my sights on a temporary stay in the Caribbean. I will be making a move to the Dutch Antilles in a little over a week. Idyllic choice of location, yes, but I am personally compelled to take myself out of the NYC/DC environment for some time to gain some personal clarity on many aspects of my life and purpose. In order to prepare for life’s next steps, one must take some time to decide what shoes to put on first.
I am also compelled by the untold stories of the Caribbean, the under-reported stories of the black diaspora that are just as much a part of the of the fabric popular discourse on African migration as the U.S.-Africa connection. Little do people know that the largest collection of African history/slavery artifacts in the Caribbean is in Curacao. Little do people know that people from West Africa come to the Dutch Antilles and find that they can understand the local language, Papiamentu. Little do people know that the issues of belonging, identity, and globalization that I have wrestled with as a member of the African diaspora in the United States, feature prominently with Curacaoans as well. I want to tell these stories, and hopefully stories from other parts of the Caribbean. My hope is that I can find ears that will listen.
I know it is not the traditional path many would have thought I would have taken after graduate school. But after graduate school, I realized that a burning curiosity about the world has been driving me and the best way for me to satisfy that is to gain first-hand experience. I’m not rich, and who knows if I ever will be, but I decided to save up my M&Ms and Skittles in the bank so that I can take this chance, so that I can bet on myself. I’ve always have tried the best I could to follow my heart, and to this day, though I may have made mistakes, I have no regrets, only lessons. I need to do what is best for myself, so that I can move to serve others in this life.
To those who think I am leaving my work Africa…never fear! Africa is in my heart and my blood. I am looking to make my return to the continent soon, when the time is right.
I will undoubtedly miss my wonderful family, as well as all fantastic friends in New York, DC, and Dallas, and everywhere else in this world I have been fortunate enough to spend some time in. But hey, keeping in touch is what Facebook, smartphones, Twitter, Skype, Gchat, WhatsApp, smoke signals and Morse Code are for, right?
To all those who have supported, encouraged and helped me to work through this process, I thank you. To those who have questioned and criticized, I hear you, but know I still respect you.
Until next time, Ayo, United States!